Children and age-gap dating

By the Seek My Toy Boy editors · Checked 8 November 2026 · 2 min read

In shortTalk about children early, before you're deeply invested. Women's fertility starts to fall gradually from around 35, and men's falls too, more slowly. If a baby matters to either of you, get facts from a GP or a fertility clinic and decide together.

Key facts

Women's fertility	Starts to decline gradually from around 35
Men's fertility	Also falls with age, but more slowly
Trying for a baby at 36 or over?	Talk to a GP sooner rather than waiting a year
Biggest risk of egg freezing, says the HFEA	That it won't work

Children can be the biggest question in an age-gap relationship. It's better to be honest early than to hope it sorts itself out. These are the facts worth knowing.

Know how age affects fertility

Tommy's, the pregnancy charity, says women's fertility starts to decline gradually around 35. Men's fertility also falls with age, though not as much. It advises seeing a GP sooner if you're 36 or over and trying to conceive.

Source: Tommy's: How age affects fertility, checked 8 November 2026

Be realistic about egg freezing

The fertility regulator, the HFEA, says the largest risk of egg freezing is that it won't work. It advises understanding the best age for freezing and the success rates before deciding. A clinic can talk you through your own situation.

Source: HFEA: Egg freezing, a factsheet, checked 8 November 2026

Put it on the table early

Relate names having more children as one of the topics to discuss early in a new relationship, along with money and living arrangements. These are the issues that often trip couples up later. Raising them kindly now saves heartache.

Source: Relate: Second marriage, checked 8 November 2026

Questions

When should we talk about children?

Once you know you like each other and before you're deeply committed. It doesn't need to be a first-date question, but don't leave it for years.

I already have children. Is that a problem?

Not for the right person. Be open about it on your profile and early in chats, so nobody is surprised.

Where can we get proper advice?

Start with your GP. For fertility treatment, the HFEA website explains options and how to choose a clinic.